Tallahassee is a college town with many college students who may be craving loving and freedom. Having a boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t one of the most desired things while you’re in college, but for those who are in relationships going out with your single girls or guys can be uncomfortable. They are off chatting with some guy or girl while you’re in the corner trying your hardest not to call your “other half.” Double dating could be the solution to your problem. Double dating allows you and your mate to enjoy hanging out together with another couple in a comfortable setting. Double dating is also the best way to get to know someone new with the safety of a friend going through the same thing with someone she doesn’t know either.
Double dating can definitely be a tricky thing. It’s almost like you and your mate are picking a new boyfriend and girlfriend to spend time with. You want to impress the other couple just like you would want to impress your girlfriend or boyfriend when you guys go out. Even when you and your friend are double dating two new guys for the first time, you have to set rules and boundaries so that the double date doesn’t turn into double trouble. So I asked students around FAMU’s campus, read every Marie Claire magazine and Cosmopolitan I could get my hands on, and came up with these eight helpful tips of highly effective double dating.
RULE #1
PICKING THE COUPLE OR PERSONS TO GO OUT ON A DOUBLE DATE WITH.
When choosing a couple to double date with, whether its girls or guys, it might be best if you know them. It could be someone in your class or someone that you see around campus occasionally. You don’t want to go to the club with your boyfriend and just find a couple that happens to be dancing to the same song you and your boyfriend like. This could lead to awkward silences and could even leave a bad taste in you mouth about double dating.
When it comes to double dating two new people, make sure that if you’re the person who has set up the date that you have seen seen all parties involved so that there are no awkward looks when the date finally comes. You don’t want one person intruding on the other couples date because they don’t find their date attractive.
RULE #2
CONSULT THE OTHER COUPLE ABOUT WHERE TO GO OUT
When you are choosing a restaurant make sure that you have asked the other people you are going on a date with their preferences and what types of things they like and don’t like. Send them a list of restaurants through an email or even sit down with one of the people you’re a going on a date with and discuss the options of places in your city. Definitely discuss the prices too. Just because you and your date are on a certain type of budget and can afford certain things, doesn’t mean the other couple can too. One of the main things that can make a double date successful is planning.
RULE #3
SET GROUND RULES BEFORE YOU GO OUT WITH ANOTHER COUPLE OR PERSONS
Before you set out on a double date it is very important that you set ground rules with your boyfriend/girlfriend or the other friends you’re taking along on the double date. Sometimes people get carried away and feel that they are on an actual date with another person which is not the case. A double date is simply a way for you as a couple to build healthy relationships with other couples. Complimenting the other couples clothing or mentioning a feature about them you like is okay, but going in depth about that feature is definitely something you don’t want to do.
If you are bringing a friend along to entertain your date’s friend, make sure that your friend knows that your date is off limits. This doesn’t mean you can tell your friend not to even look in the direction of your date, but let that friend know that their main purpose for being there is to make you feel comfortable and entertain the other person coming along.
RULE #4
BE ADVENTROUS WITH THE CONVERSATION, BUT STAY AWAY FROM PERSONAL TOPICS.
On most dates people tell you to stay away from three main topics: Religion, politics, and abortion. Usually these topics can turn a sweet date sour very quickly, but during a double date these topics are okay to discuss. If both couples are adults and comfortable with who they are, these topics can open up lively conversation and interesting incite. Even with woman at the table sports are also an excellent topic.
Try to stay away from personal topics like sex, starting a family and past relationships. These topics might make some people feel uncomfortable. Just because you want to talk about them and you’re open with you life does not mean that everyone else is.
RULE # 5
DON’T HAVE A THROWBACK MEMORY LANE PARTY ON YOUR DATE
If you and another person on the date are friends and it was your idea to go out on the date, DO NOT talk about things that might be boring to the other people on the date. Telling college party stories is one thing, but talking about the psychology class you had together last semester with Rachel, Dorian and Brandon might not be a good idea. You should include them and keep reminiscent stories to a minimum.
RULE # 6
IF THE CONVERSATION GETS ROUGH DO NOT GET INVOLVED IN THE OTHER COUPLES DRAMA.
Some couples like getting personal on dates. They have no problem with airing their dirty laundry for you and everyone else in the restaurant or venue at the time. “Girl, c’mon did you see him checking out that girl at the other table?” As soon as this statement comes out of her mouth you feel obligated to give her an answer. No matter what you have to do, do not get involved in their issue because if you do that opens up a whole conversation centered on you and what you think about their situation.
If the couple you are on a date with starts a war at the dinner table excuse yourself and your date to the bathroom, say you left something in the car or go to the bar and have a drink while they have it out. This way you will not be involved and they won’t ask you that God awful question “So do you think I was wrong?”
RULE # 7
CREATE A SECRET LANGUAGE WITH YOUR PARTNER OR FRIEND.
This may sound mean and no I’m not talking about pig Latin or anything, but a real language or real signals so that you and your date or friend can stay on top of situations. For example say you notice the other couple is getting bored and you want to keep them entertained you could say some thing like ,” I wonder if the waiter is coming back to take our dessert orders.” This could let your date know that the outing is wearing thin and the other couple is getting bored. You should come up with three to five little signals like playing with your napkin, spinning your finger on your glass or looking in your purse. These signals can let your partner or friend know that they need to change the subject, it’s time to go home or the person on the other side of the table has food stuck in their front teeth.
RULE #8
GRACEFULLY EXITING STAGE LEFT
If after the first two invitations for another double date are not RSVP’d, let it go.
If you use these tips wisely I guarantee a successful double date. So good luck and happy dating.
Contact Nikkia Ganey at famuanlifestyles@hotmail.com