For the love of pjs

Simone Biles and her husband, Johnathan Owens, in matching PJs. Photo courtesy: @simonebiles Instagram

Everyone has one goal for their perfect holiday season as the year ends. This goal, usually in plaid, Christmas characters, or the usual Christmas colors, encapsulates the season as a whole. As it has been the topic of much social media discourse, the goal is to wear matching PJs with your significant other during the holidays, more formally known as getting into a relationship by the holidays.

Cuffing season is a time which is said to be December 1 to January 15, as described by The Guardian. Those who don’t make it to this stage sometimes may feel inadequate or feel that their love isn’t going to make it to this stage. But truthfully, why do some people think this way?

One key point that can lead to this thought process of the need to find love in this season would be societal influences.

Psychology Today writer Chamin Ajjan mentioned that the messaging is produced by the entertainment industry, advertisers, social media, and more. Holiday movies, ad campaigns, and other things can influence how someone views their relationship progress well into and beyond the season itself. It can make people think that by the holidays, a relationship should be the end all be all to complete the experience.

As it is an idea manufactured and sold to the masses, it doesn’t reflect true and pure intentions of relationship building.

Having the desire to be in a relationship is one thing; however, having the skills and tools that will allow that relationship to flourish is an entirely different conversation. It should exist before picking out the perfect pajama pair.

Psychologist Joanne Davila describes the three primary skills that help build a relationship, or in her own words, “romantic competence,” as insight, mutuality, and emotional regulation. Utilizing these three skills, which means knowing your partner better, ensuring you and your partner’s needs are addressed, and managing your emotions, will help build a long-lasting relationship.

Outside of the superficial things the holiday time can make you believe about relationships, those that even make it to this stage are cultivated and primed to be ones that can exist even after this time has passed.

Not letting societal pressures, media culture, or jaded beliefs on one’s relationship progress can help someone get one step closer to the moment all relationships want to reach. So while the picture-perfect pajamas might be sitting around in your house or even in your Amazon cart, make sure the relationship lasts longer and can be merrier than just Christmas time.