Mind over marriage

Marriage is a huge commitment, although it may be a dream in the mind of some people, others could care less about the union. Photo Courtesy: dreamstime.com

With so much emphasis on hook-up culture, marriage is not at the top of the minds of many college students.

Between the ability to move from one person to another with no consequences and personal issues, not getting married seems to be the best thing for some individuals.

Malik Everett, a freshman at Florida Atlantic University, says marriage sounds nice, but he’s unsure if he would “want the pressure, even though [he’s] pretty sure [he’d] be ready for it.”

“For a guy, there is a lot of pressure because they are expected to provide and protect the family [and] support their wife and children,” Everett said. “I think I would even be OK with having a long-term girlfriend. As long as we love each other, so much thought shouldn’t be put into marriage.”

Aside from not wanting to deal with the pressures that seem to come with marriage, the idea of being connected to one person legally is not appealing to some.

Ian Goodman, a second-year business student at Palm Beach State College, believes marriage is upheld in the eyes of God, not the law.

“Why would I sign my life away just to become bonded to someone,” Goodman said. “I don’t need any documents to tell me how much I love my partner. God knows our hearts and that’s the only thing that matters to me. All of the legal stuff is about power and money anyway.”

Everett believes spirituality also plays a part in his decision.

“I’m OK with living a boring life and being single if it means pleasing God. I know the things that come with that, including not having sex,” Everett said. “Marriage is sacred and at this point in my life, it’s just not something I want to think about … I just don’t think it’s the lifestyle for me.”

There are many aspects of marriage besides love: trust, responsibility, commitment and honor to name a few. While marriage is for some, others know they are not ready to dive into such a big arrangement.

Deirdre Allen, a 27-year-old mother of two and a lash technician, knows she has things to work on within herself before considering walking down the aisle.

“Growing up, I thought I would be married by 25, but in hindsight I see that it’s not smart to put a timeline on things such as marriage,” Allen said. “I don’t believe I’m married yet because I know I’m the best version of myself and not ready to make that commitment.”

Becoming a mom at 17, Allen knew marriage would be out of the equation for a while.

“I don’t regret having my daughter at all. She was one of the best things to happen to me. I can say I learned a lot being in a relationship with her dad though,” Allen said. “Getting out of that long-term relationship, I had a lot of inner work and healing [to do]… and wouldn’t feel right projecting that onto anyone else.”

Allen says her “focus right now” is her business and children.

Ultimately, marriage is a big decision and, while the thought of a grand ceremony sounds nice, it’s not a price worth paying for everyone — and that’s OK.