The 21st Century Wingman: An iPod

Guys, we want to clue you in on something: one of the best wingmen you can possibly have is in your pocket.

We’ll wait while you take a moment to remove your mind from the gutter.

The thing being referred to is, in fact, your mp3 player. For those who don’t know, a wingman, as defined by, is “a guy you bring along with you on singles outings… that helps you out with the women.”

Further entries elaborate on a wingman’s use in distracting the less attractive friend of your object of affection, but sometimes a wingman can help nervous Casanovas in simply breaking the ice.

This writer’s iPod has 5225 songs on it as of this publication. To some, this is a paltry sum, but to most, it is a vast and eclectic music library. What will help you out is an emphasis on “eclectic.” A wide collection of nothing but Waka Flocka Flame and Soulja Boy will get you nowhere fast -unless that’s your thing, ladies; not here to judge.-

For example, the aforementioned library has Rick Ross, next to Rob Bass, next to Rob Thomas, next to Rob Zombie, next to Robin Thicke, next to Robin Williams.

We’ve seen more than one occasion where the acquisition of a conversation, phone number and subsequent date began with a cursory glance through someone’s iPod.

Now for the disclaimer; there are an abundance of things this editorial is not saying. It’s not attempting to pimp us out as pick-up artists; we’re far from it. It is also not saying that a varied taste in music is a substitute for conversational skills and a decent personality.

Finally, it is also not saying that an eclectic music selection is what attracts all women; that’s something that will have to be taken on a case-by-case basis.

This editorial is, however, a suggestion for those shy or socially awkward individuals who find it hard to talk to the opposite sex, but really enjoy music. As a suggestion, it can be ignored or picked up at your leisure.

All we ask is that you quietly thank us whenever she says “OMG! I didn’t know anyone else here listened to (insert obscure artist/band)!”

Rock on, kids.