Bill to Ban ‘Sagging’ Passes, Protesters Rejoice

A few weeks ago a bill was passed in our lovely state of Florida that banned the common fashion statement of sagging pants for individuals in grades K-20. Pause. Does this mean that I no longer have to walk around campus looking at people’s underwear?

Praise God!

Don’t get me wrong, fashion statements are just that. However, I (and I’m sure many others would agree) do not want to know if you wear boxers or briefs, nor do I want to know if Hanes or Fruit of the Loom

is your brand of choice.

Now right now some of you are thinking, does it matter how I wear my clothes? Truth be told, compared to other issues out government should be focused on, it really doesn’t. But in lawmakers’ minds, this is a pertinent issue that directly deals with the well-being of the citizens of the state of Florida blah blah blah.

And to a certain extent they are correct. How would you feel if you and your 91-year-old great-grandmother were walking in the grocery store and she starts flipping out because the guy who works there stocking the shelves has his pants so low she can see things that she doesn’t want to. Wait, why does he still have a job if he is sagging his pants at work to begin with? I digress…

The point is, be courteous to others and wear your pants right. Belts were invented for a reason. Invest. As far as I am concerned, children in grades kindergarten to fifth grade shouldn’t even be sagging to begin with. You are four-years-old, what on this good green earth do you know about sagging? Absolutely nothing that’s what. And the fact that parents are allowing their elementary aged children to sag is beyond me in the first place. But like my mom always said, “You can’t tell people how to raise their kids.”

And now the NAACP is dead set against this bill. They feel that the ban is targeting just blacks alone. But for some reason I feel this is a little hypocritical. The NAACP doesn’t want blacks to sag their pants; however, now that a bill has been set in motion to ban the practice there is a huge issue about it being “racist?” Okay…

But here’s a little “news flash,” people from all races in America, for the most part, sag. Unfortunately, black youth sag more than others… that can’t be denied. And furthermore, do you honestly think that sagging your pants makes you look thuggish? How on earth are you going to look thuggish but you are attending a university? Thuggary and academia do not, I repeat, do not go in the same sentence. Nor does sagging at a professional setting. So I hate to break it to you but you are, in Twitter speak, #epicfailing.

A lot of you who sag are disagreeing with this article and the bill itself. I’d be surprised if you were still reading this article to be straight forward with you. But it is what it is. Just like the bill to ban sagging pants. I guess stores are going to be selling out of belts soon. Because like previously stated, many of you are going to be investing in them real soon.