Birthday marks fresh start


It turns out that today is my birthday so I would like to first say how thankful I am to reach another year in my life and thank everyone who has kept me in their prayers.

It is amazing how many wonderful people have entered my life since day one of my diagnosis. I appreciate all the support that I have been receiving. Not only did I gain new friends but I also lost some. I guess they couldn’t handle my situation as well as others but I’m definitely not upset about that outcome.

I guess these times have really opened my eyes to who was actually a true friend to me and who was just there when things were all smiles and laughter.

I choose not to worry myself about why people are the way they are. I know if they don’t belong in my life God will see them out. On a more positive note, I just want to say that it honestly touches my heart every time someone new contacts me about reading my story and offers their help with new information.

 This really goes to show that, when you speak out, there are always people there that are willing to help you through your tough times.

Now that I’m not attending school for the rest of the year, I find myself with plenty of free time to really evaluate my life. Since I can’t really travel too much because I still have to be here for my treatment, my boyfriend came from Pompano Beach, Fla., to spend my birthday with me.

I really felt that this year’s birthday was going to be the worst birthday ever, but things are actually starting to look up.

When I’m sitting at home I have nothing to do, so I just relax until I recover from the previous treatment. I do try to carry on with my normal life as much as possible.

I definitely get nervous every time I have to go in for another treatment, because I never know how I will feel after. Usually the whole week after I undergo chemotherapy, I get a nauseous feeling in my stomach, which makes me feel as though I can’t eat anything. 

I try to get out of the house as much as possible, because there are certain smells that irritate me if I stay around them too long. Sometimes I even feel myself getting cravings like a pregnant woman. I would even wake up in the middle of the night just to get something to eat, which kind of scares me because I don’t want to develop weight problems.

 I want to try to get more active and move around a little bit more, so at the end of the month I’m going to visit my grandmother in New York. 

I’m really excited to not only get away from here for a while, but also to visit her after so many years.

I guess that’s one good thing about having a little time for me.  I’ve tried to reconnect myself with my passion for writing poetry since I didn’t have time before. I’m just trying to gather my life back together and prepare for my new life ahead.

Now that the weather is changing I have to be extra careful that I don’t get sick, especially now that my immune system is so low.

It would be harder for me to fight off a cold, so that’s something that kind of has me a little worried.

These feelings of helplessness keep entering and leaving my soul and I can’t take it anymore. At least the chemotherapy treatments have not been as bad as the first one.

I don’t get as sick and my body isn’t as weak. Just know that when you see me I’ll always keep smiling because that’s a medicine that has always worked for me.