It is campaign season again and I had hopes of running for Miss FAMU, but the recession ruined that idea. I would’ve taken an entirely new approach, because we all know most of the time the people who really want it never win.
Most candidates that run for Miss FAMU do not reach out to everyone on campus. They forget about people because they feel it doesn’t benefit them. If I had the opportunity to run, my campaign would have been for all of the people on campus who aren’t caught up in the glitz and glamour.
My campaign would cater to all my “gutta” people that keep it real and not real fake. I wouldn’t have all the cute names and slogans on my platform. Instead, my week would be called “You gotta get it, how you gotta live; keepin’ it gutta in the 09′.”
The theme song for the week would be “We Dressed in All Black” by Plies. For the people that don’t like it, don’t wear black. I wouldn’t spend hundreds of dollars on campaign shirts because everyone on my campaign would just wear black shirts the whole week.
Monday would be called I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T Day and the women would be catered to.
We would have dinner starters including chicken boxes from Southside’s Lindy’s and that sugar-downed diabetes- yellow lemonade. At night we would bring a big screen television outside of Paddyfote and show the first 10 episodes of Martin.
Tuesday would be called “You Don’t Know Nann, Girl.” I would have rap battles against the other candidates running for Miss FAMU. We would also have a down south Uncle Luke and the Two Live Crew booty shaking, break dancing contest.
Wednesday and Thursday would be the “keeping it real” days.
Friday would be the most important day of my campaign when everyone is on The Set. My campaign would pass out chicken and fish dinners; and there will be free tattoos courtesy of Dolla. Later that night would be the biggest campaign party ever. It would be an all black affair held at The Edge. The music man from the indoor flea market would be our DJ and the food would come from Soul Train of Soul Train Snack Inc.
On a serious note, candidates running for positions should think about everyone and not just the individuals that the people consider popular. Miss FAMU candidates should just remember, “you gotta get it, how you gotta live.”
This is a satirical piece and Earlena Boswell is a junior magazine student from Tallahassee. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.