Once upon a time, there was a young woman who came to Tallahassee from Orlando in search of a better life – filled with happy memories, fabulous tales and everlasting relationships.
She came to FAMU believing all the stories she was told about college. Such stories included wonderful relationships and a great education. But like many students before her, she would soon learn of the changes that would occur during her years in college.
Two years after arriving at FAMU, with school experiences consisting of changing her major, friendships that mysteriously ended, paying bills and a long-distance relationship that didn’t last, she was hit with the realization that maybe this grown-up thing wasn’t everything all it was cracked up to be.
Some students, mostly women, come to college with the widely accepted notion that they will find a husband.
But as one continues to live in Tallahassee, the age-old question seems to seep into many of my conversations. “Why are there so many great single women but few great single men?”
We all know them.
They are our friends, sisters, co-workers and associates. They all perform excellent in their classes, join prominent organizations and know how to have a good time. But they are all single.
Could the answer be the number of women considerately outnumber the number of men, not only in Leon County but also on campus?
Based on the 2005 U.S. Census, Leon County was made up of 121,162 women and 112, 487 men. Of those numbers, 95,447 of those women were women 18 and older and 85,856 were men 18 and up. Do you see a problem?
Using logic, would it really be reasonable for a college man in Tallahassee to limit himself to one woman when there are at least 10 other great women to choose from?
And why would a great woman compromise her needs for a man who acts like he is God’s gift to women just because his gender renders him to think of himself as a hot commodity?
Where is the middle ground for single women in Tallahassee? Must women overextend themselves in the name of being able to check “in a relationship” on Facebook? I think not.
Single women need to stop thinking being single is a bad thing and start approaching the single life like their male counterparts.
An easy way to achieve this, as my friend Aja Watkins so eloquently tells me and our other friends when we get frustrated in our relationships is to put in just as much as he does. “For example, if he just texts you, you just text him.”
College is often the time to find what you like to do, what you want out of life and what your goals are. This is not necessarily a place to find your next relationship.
Everyone who has been in a fulfilling relationship knows it is a great experience one would not want to abandon. But being by yourself is not bad either.
It gives you time to truly understand all the things that make you the way you are.
Katrelle Simmons is a junior English education student from Orlando. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.