Good woman hard to find at HBCU’s

So here you are, your first semester as a Rattler. Your eyes must be deceiving you because there are too many pretty women. You stop, take a second to pinch yourself and say, “This cannot be real.”

It seems like it would be a piece of cake for a brotha at FAMU to get a showstopper by his side. Sadly, it’s easier said than done. Yes, the ratio is better here than in my hometown of Miami, but that does not mean much.

Despite the fact that there are more females than males on FAMU’s campus, it is not easy to get a Rattler woman.

A good percentage of the women on this campus do not even qualify as considerable relationship material. If you don’t understand what I’m talking about, let me clue you in. Most students know Ms. High-Risk 2006. She’s the woman everyone knows is promiscuous.

I value my health, so I pass. Her best friend is not an option either. You know the girl who is “friends” with every man on campus.

Then there is the woman that must have been admitted to FAMU because she had an inside connection.

I’m sure you know “Blondie.” She’s just as dumb as can be. You would think all college women would be able to engage in intellectual conversation, but how am I, an educated black man, supposed to communicate with Dumb Donald’s younger sister? Then there is Ms. Hollywood. She thinks she is too fine to acknowledge your “hello.” There are others, but you get my point.

In any event, Rattler women are confusing. For example, even taking a woman out to eat can be a challenge.

Last time I checked I was a college student who had not received my much-needed financial aid check.

I think some of these sons of doctors and lawyers have spoiled all the decent women left.

Sorry to disappoint you but the dollar menu is the best I can do right now. Besides, it is the thought that matters, right? Back home, a woman appreciates a value meal.

I would say that about three-thirds of the FAMU women worth dating are already involved. My math is a little rusty, but I did mean three-thirds.

Eligible bachelorettes, do I need to join one of the prestigious groups on campus to be considered a distinguished man?Should I go suit and tie, and invest in a manicure to get FAMU’s most outstanding single woman?

Eligible bachelors, if you prefer rough-faced gold diggers that are aspiring to be models, then FAMU has an abundant supply of them. Siraaj Sabree is a senior newspaper journalism student from Miami. He can be reached at