Smith: Stick to making cute movies

The title might throw you. The cover might make you wary. The lack of parental advisory sticker might send a chill down your spine. But if anything stops you from buying Will Smith’s latest album,”Lost and Found,” let it be this review.

With a flow more dated than the Bible, Smith returns to the game to let everyone know exactly why we love him, as an actor.

The opening song, “Here He Comes,” a sample of the already played out Spider-man theme, prepares listeners for the atrocities to come.

The hook boasts, “He can break dance and he can pop/ he can rap and he can act/ and if it comes down to it he can scrap/Oh man here comes Big Willie again.”

Who exactly is writing this stuff, his son?

At some point, this screen giant has to question his relevance on the hip-hop scene.

The title track, “Lost & Found,” tries to examine Smith’s off balanced-ness. Using such pointed lyrics in the hook like “Why should I try to sound like you?” and “It’s like a circus, look at all of these clowns,” it becomes difficult to decipher whether he is dissing other emcees or himself.

But in case he needs an answer to the question, it’s because they sell records.

If you are going to make a statement and claim an individual sound, you probably should not try in invoke Nelly (“Swagga”), Jadakiss (“Tell Me Why” featuring Mary J. Blige) and even Eminem’s (“Loretta”) vibrato. Stealing rhyme styles and topics from rappers established long after you is far from acceptable.

Now, it can be said that if Mary contributes a hook, then the song must be serious. But not even Mary can save this monstrosity. “Tell Me Why” spirals off from Smith trying to explain 9/11 to his son to a roll call of all the dead performers of the past 10 years.

“Why did Jay have to go out that way?” Smith raps over Mary’s wailing over a choir. Come on people! Did Smith really expect to re-record the hottest song of last summer and no one would notice.

Oh, wait. He just wishes he could have as he expressed in track 8, “I Wish I Made That.”

But wishing still doesn’t put Smith’s name in the album credits.

Horrible is not the word to describe this long tirade of top 20 hits that Smith wishes he could be associated with.

And, drum roll please, the album’s absolute low points are the three versions of one awful single-designed to teach the rhythmless masses one easy dance they can do without a strobe light.

Today should be the first day of the “Switch” boycott. If we stop liking it, the melanin deficient won’t dance to it and radio will take it away.

Smith should be respected for his acting ability and musical accomplishments undoubtedly. Nevertheless, supporting his current efforts will send him the wrong message.

Buying this album would tell Will Smith that we would give him our money for anything he does. This is and should not be the case. If he wants us to respect him as a rapper, he’d better look back at his Grammy winning performance and find his lost credibility.

Contact Robbyn Mitchell at