Surgery is not a quick fix

Is it a girl or boy?

It’s a common question heard by every budding parent in the world. What do you do when you can’t exactly determine the sex of your baby because it is born with both male and female traits?

Nearly one in every 4,000 babies is born with this problem every year. Parents are then left with the decision of what the baby will become by having surgery or letting time pass to see whatever nature brings.

I strongly believe parents should let nature decide instead of making that decision based on what they think or want the answer to be.

Commonly referred to as intersex, this phenomenon can be very tricky. If the parents opt for surgery, they may make the wrong choice.

For example, if they believe the baby will be a boy, and that baby starts to develop breasts as a teenager, they clearly made the wrong decision. Then the parents would have to go through the social trauma of switching the gender once again.

What if the parents aren’t together as a couple like so many in today’s society?

There may be a battle between the two on what to decide for the baby’s sex. This could create even more headache and pain for everyone involved. Not to mention the legal process to be endured.

In Texas, the law stipulates people cannot change their birth certificate. Therefore, if a baby was named a male at birth, then he must continue with that sex and can’t change it to become a female.

He also would not be able to marry a female because that state prohibits homosexual marriages.

So what are parents supposed to do?

Society states that you must stipulate the gender of a baby upon birth not only for completion of the birth certificate but also to know what to call the child. The parents can handle this situation in an easier fashion by not having the surgery.

They can choose a sex and let time decide. If the baby grows up and actually turns out to be a male, then the birth certificate and name can be changed. If the baby grows up to be a female, everything is all right. By forcing surgery on the baby without giving nature time to fully decide what the sex will be is imposing on God’s master plan and that is something we should never do.

God has already decided before we were conceived what our sex would be. He decided before our parents even got together what our sex would be. Therefore, if we just wait patiently and let his work be fulfilled, everything will be discovered in its own time.

There are organizations available for parents of intersex babies. The Intersex Society of North America is one that provides personal stories to parents so they can hear how others handled the issue before making any rash decisions.

I am sure this is a very hard and trying situation for a parent. However, if parents think rationally and completely, they can make an educated decision that will be better for the child and his or her future.

Dominique Drake is a third year professional MBA student from Cleveland. Contact her at