Rattlers take spin on urban couture

About that homecoming fashion show, one word: hilarious. The opening scene was eclectic with the models dressed in high fashion clothes strutting to an upbeat tempo.

Then, the show slowly dwindled down going from fashion show to dance contest. Celebrity wanna-bes, like the FAMU Kanye, graced the runway with a serious expression until he broke out doing the Chingy. The John Legends with the Luciano Lyle blazers and all the Ushers sported the preppy grown and sexy look.

And what was the purpose of the model dancing in front of the Alpha? Never mind that, why did that brother with the Corona fitted cap who did the played-out, club-scene picture pose proceed to make a sexual gesture with his fingers and tongue?

The video girls, er um, models in their cut up jeans totally took away from the vogue ambiance of the fashion show. Progressive Black Men, Inc., who looked like church ushers, might as well had modeled in their green blazers because the plain black suit stunt did them no justice.

The Gamma Alpha chapter of the National Service Sorority Gamma Sigma Sigma got its total line of five to model and the fashion show was probably the closest thing they could get to being noticed.

The host, Pat Lee, an “old-school FAMU alumna” could not find her balance between using her “crunk” voice and a sensual late-night radio voice. But it didn’t matter either way because much of the crowd was too busy trying to make sense of her jumbled introductions.

Someone should have filled in the blanks for the Kappa, or in her words, “my men of Kappa” introduction. And what sorority is the Al Alpha Kappa Alpha? She did have a script, but maybe she was just trying to memorize it. She could have been improvising. Whatever the case, the sultry voice could have been saved for the lingerie scene.

Speaking of which, I guess butt cheeks hanging out of sequined pieces of fabric that served as underwear dispelled the supposed “rumors in the paper.”

Models bending over for the crowd, which contained children and grandparents, was a step away from fashionable and a jump down to tacky.

But, the show did have some perks. The highlight of the show was when the little dude climbed out of the suitcase and almost perfected the coat spin. His performance demanded a standing ovation, which the crowd granted willingly.

There really weren’t any costume malfunctions except for the visible garter belt or a pair of shorts on one model. But it could have been intentional. FAMU modeling troupes were able to score apparel from Missy Elliot’s RespectME line with Adidas.

It was entertaining and served a purpose, too. Some actually started to feel the homecoming aura. Others, well, they either did not feel the need to attend or left when the deejay surprised the crowd at intermission and said there was a whole other half of the show to go.

Models actually smiled in this fashion show. Which was a relief because I started to take the fierce glares models use on the runway personally. The well-greased six packs were appealing. But the screeches they received from the crowd were funny, considering these guys walk the campus everyday. The high-fashion shoppers carrying puppies was a cute attempt.

At least, the fashion show featured the biggest trend of the season, Tweed.

Despite all the shortcomings, many people walked out feeling like they had actually witnessed a real fashion show. Overall, the show was like urban Rattlers go couture.

Grade C

Contact Diamond Washington at famuanlifestyles@hotmail.com