Use holiday to express self love

Have you ever wondered why we celebrate Valentine’s Day?

Many people celebrate it because everyone else is and they don’t want to be the only person boycotting.

Others might celebrate out of fear that their significant other will retaliate if they don’t spend $20 on flowers and a card, or a special gift.

But what is love?

I believe the purpose of a relationship is to decide what part of yourself you’d like to see personified, not what part of another you can capture and hold.

It puts incredible pressure on your significant other if you expect them to complete you or fill emptiness in your life.

The purpose of a relationship is not to find someone who completes you, but to have another with whom you can share your completeness.

However, the true test is internal. Each person in the relationship should not worry about the other person, but only about self.

We have been told that in relationships it is important to worry about the other person, but an obsession with the other is what causes the relationship to fail.

The most loving person is the person who is self-centered. You must first see your self as worthy before you can see another as worthy. Learning who you are is part of the growth process. People get into a relationship hoping to find themselves, but lose themselves instead.

So this Valentine’s Day will be as fulfilling as any other day: I am going to be self-centered. I must recognize myself as blessed before I can see another as blessed. I must recognize that I am worthy before I can recognize that someone else is worthy.

Your first relationship must begin with self. You must first love to honor and cherish and love yourself.

We’re trying to remember why we chose this path toward love, and it would be a lot easier if we weren’t bombarded with superficial and materialistic ideas from school and TV and what we learn based on others’ perception.

I’m not against people who choose to celebrate Valentine’s Day, but with all of the things that are going on, it makes me wonder: Where is the love?

Shervon R. Coleman is a senior English student from Chicago. Contact her at