Don’t mess up your freshman year

Books that cost more than your entire senior prom night, the myth that is your net check and gourmet microwave cooking.

Congratulations, you’re a college student now. As a former freshman, allow me to bestow you with some advice.

Don’t try to pass yourselves off as upperclassmen. We can spot freshmen a mile away. News flash, fish: only freshmen walk around with their I.D.s around their neck.

You’re also the ones that walk past the Set 12 times, trying to find Jackson-Davis Hall. Save yourself from looking like a fool and ask for help.

Ignore the rule where you bring some stuff and your roommate brings some other stuff.

Inevitably, you and your roommate will have a fight, or they might have to leave for school for unexpected reasons, you’ll be out of luck if you’re relying on the buddy system.

Bring your own refrigerator, telephone, microwave and television especially.

The dorm rules are strict, but they honestly are there for your own good. I was one of the loudest protestors of the “no guys” rule during my stay in the McGuinn Penthouse; but if it were not for this rule, you would be looking at your roommate’s significant other every time you walked into your dorm room.

Do not dread the Freshman 15. It doesn’t apply to FAMU students.

You will get quite a bit of daily exercise: The 40 Yard Bus Dash, Tumbling (On The Set), Hiking Home After You Missed The Venom…Again.

The calories you burn walking from the cafe to your dorm three times a day will neutralize anything you’ll ever eat.

Just make sure to get some good walking shoes.

I know females like to wear stilettos nowadays, but remember: the higher your heel is, the worse your sprained ankle will be, as well as your descent to the concrete.

Another quick note to the ladies: The upperclassmen do not love you. Period.

Unless you’d like to use every trick your mama taught you (and quite a few she didn’t), accept that this is not high school and you’re out of your league. It’ll save you heartache and embarrassment in the future.

Should something tragic happen to you or your family, and you feel the need to grieve, do NOT do anything drastic.

A sudden urge for binge drinking, pill-popping, self-mutilation or all of the above will only land you in the back of a police cruiser or an ambulance.

From there, you will be rushed to Tallahassee Memorial Hospital, followed by the lovely people at the Behavioral Health Center.

Instead of risking ending up in a mental institute, it’s suggestible that, in a crisis situation, you find more constructive ways to deal with your grief.

Anything else you need to know, you’ll learn as you go along.

Practice basic survival skills and common sense, and you’ll be fine.

J. Danielle Daniels, 20, is a junior political science student from Dallas.