Lust ends in sexual unfulfillment

It seems that sex is on everyone’s mind nowadays. What is it about college and sex? Those of us who made it here without having done the horizontal tango seem to come to FAMU and stick it on our agenda list: “Swing by Foote-Hilyer, register, lose virginity, and buy Literaure book.”

I think it’s some weird type of peer pressure. Think back to your virgin days, whether you were 19 or nine when you did the deed. People tried to tell you that something was wrong with you, and that you were missing out on something incredible and magical. Your peers discussed sex with the dopiest smiles on their faces, and in such graphic detail that you felt like there was some secret club you weren’t a member of.

Just thinking back to my freshman year upsets me. When I was a virgin, I wasn’t interested in sex, but I just had to do it so that people wouldn’t think I was crazy. I don’t recall too much about my first time – it was that boring.

I consider myself to be pretty rational, so I wasn’t expecting any fireworks or singing doves. I did not, however, expect to be more involved in the movie I was watching than the guy I was with. (That Shaft is a bad mother shut-your-mouth.) For weeks afterward I remember thinking, “That’s it? That’s what people write songs and make movies about and risk their health and lives for?”

Now that I’m not a virgin sex still isn’t an issue. It’s just not that big a deal. I once thought I was missing out on something, and now I know that I’m not.

It’s been proven that a woman doesn’t hit her sexual peak until her mid-to-late thirties. For some reason, though, young women – especially young, black women – are portrayed as dogs in heat. That puts me in the minority, right?

Hell, it won’t be the first time.

I’m not a flag-waver for abstinence. However, I am telling Rattler women not to rush into sex. There’s no need to. There’s nothing wrong with a woman who isn’t interested in sex or allows it to be her driving force for her behavior or style of dress.

We’re not in junior high anymore – the mystery around sex is gone now. I’m sure we all know what a penis and a vagina look like – big deal.

Now, as adults, we face facts. STD’s run rampant on FAMU’s campus. Condoms break, pills fail, and skin breaks out into itchy red rashes. And no, having sex with a man will not make him stay with you. God knows the “I’ll-get-pregnant” ploy hasn’t worked since the beginning of time.

Besides, if anyone’s schedule is like mine, no one should have time for a love life? Sex or class, sex or class? I think I’ll go with the latter.

J. Danielle Daniels, 20, is a sophomore political science student from Dallas. She can be reached at She serves as Deputy Opinions Editor.