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“Relationships Goals”

By Amber Tookes
On November 10, 2015

Nowadays, “relationship goals” are based off of memes on social media.

This could be the cause for so many unhealthy relationships. How can someone know what “relationship goals” to look for if they continue to choose people who don’t necessarily meet the criteria?

According to Alexia McKnight, a senior business administration student from Tallahassee expressed that their are more possibilities to relationships than what people perceive.

“People are unaware that a better relationship exists, depending on what they were exposed to as a child and their definition of a relationship.”

It’s not rare that you overhear ol’folk touching on the fact that, whether it’s being committed to one person, having like-minded goals or having the same religious beliefs, young people don’t understand the importance of relationship values.

Giles Williams a MBA student from Atlanta, GA who has been raised to value quality, not quantity.

“As a generation, we look for the quick, fast and in a hurry instead of substance,” Williams said.  “It takes time to find a good person and if people are looking for someone to occupy their attention right now, a “ratchet” would be their choice.”

People have three options to consider when choosing a potential mate: Option A, someone attractive, emotionally, mentally, and financially stable. Option B, Someone who is not emotionally, mentally or financially stable and not the most attractive person, or option C, someone who is attractive but has no emotional, mental or financial stability.

Meka Spencer, a distance learning program liaison in the office of Instructional Technology at Florida A&M University voiced her view on “relationship goals”.

“For me and my personal reasons I would seek someone who is complimentary to me.  I don’t want someone who I would have to mother so I would want someone that I can compliment me and build to my betterment and our betterment as a couple,” Spencer explained.

According to Loveisrespect.org, a website that gives tips on how to maintain a healthy relationship, communication is a key part into building a healthy relationship.

First is making sure you both expect the same things. Always remember to speak up, respect your partner, compromise, be supportive, and respect each other’s privacy.

Artavis Dudley, a third-year information technology student from Tallahassee expressed that people chooses to be in unhealthy relationships.

“People choose those relationships, because people never knew what a healthy relationship should look like,” Dudley said.

I believe that it’s detrimental for a girl to have a nurturing relationship with their father, or a male role model of equivalent stature. The same for any boy, to have a nurturing relationship with his mother or mother figure.

In relationships, it is not rare for males and females look for traits that their mother or father possessed.  Without having that role model they are dating blind.

McKnight believes there has been a shift in society when it comes to relationships.

“The outlook on relationships at a young age is not the same due to the climax of people being raised differently and the influence of social media. People value a sexual connection and a physical relationship over a mental and emotional relationship,” McKnight said .  

The next time you see a “relationship goal” meme and post it on your social media, make sure that it is one you want to emulate.    

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