The Famuan

Issue date: 2/11/08 Section: Opinions

Black men should not conform to stereotypical mannerisms that society has set before them. A black male being different in his community is rare, but it does exist.

These men are mature, secure and wise. They understand that crying is not an expression of weakness but an act of human nature.

I am in no way advocating that a man should cry over everything. I'm only suggesting that men should try not to feel confined to the perverted standards of the patriarchal society in which we live.

To say that a man who cries is weak, unmanly or a punk is absolutely ridiculous.

For example, if a guy loses his mother in a car accident, is he a punk for crying at the funeral? Or if a young boy falls down and hurts himself, should the father call him punk when he cries because he doesn't want to "baby" him?

Is this the most effective way of raising a child to become a strong secure man? The answer is no.

What if a guy is in a relationship with a girl for several years? He's totally in love with her and she feels the same way.

He proposes to her and she accepts, but a few weeks before the wedding, she is kidnapped and later found dead. This man loses the love of his life - never to see her, touch her or hear her voice again.

Is he a punk if he cries over his loss?

As for women who demean men who occasionally show their sensitive side, you should never belittle a man for showing his emotions. By calling a man a punk or a coward, you're only reinforcing the idea that men are supposed to be hard and insensitive.

Tell me women, what can you gain from a man who has experienced years of emotional neglect and pain and years of harboring his hurt?

Well, you might get a plain insensitive guy, or you might get a guy with severe anger issues. These men are probably physically and mentally abusive in relationships.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man crying. This man exudes character and warmth.

I know several men who have cried because of traumatic experiences, including break-ups, death and even extreme sadness. I believe a real man can be open and honest about his emotions and his sensitivity, all while maintaining security within himself.

It isn't necessary to cry over irrelevant or petty things, but it takes a really mature man to reveal himself and his emotions in an intimate way and not feel ashamed of it.

Candice Montgomery is a junior magazine production student from Fort Lauderdale. She can be reached at Candice_tamaramontgomery@yahoo.com.