I’m not really sure if it’s something that every student has or will experience, but for me it has hit like a ton of bricks.
For the past four years, I have witnessed the university change and grow in many ways. Now I can admit that it is a beautiful thing to see, but at this point in my matriculation I am antsy to see what life holds outside of this space.
I think my senioritis really kicked into high gear when the last of my older friends left Tallahassee this past summer.
As an oldest child, I’ve always gravitated to an older crowd. Most of my college friends were almost two years older and I’ve only had one or two friends that are the same age as me.
At first that was cool. Having friends that were 20 when I was 18 made a huge impact. They were there to give me tips from their own experiences, and I probably would have made some major mistakes had I not had them in my corner. They also opened the door to some crazy experiences.
Most importantly though, they were always there to push me through all the adversity. College definitely hasn’t always been a breeze. At one point during my sophomore year I questioned if my degree was worth it. Despite those feelings, my older friends who I now consider to be something like my older siblings were my driving force — my reason to keep going.
With them gone, my interest in attending any school or club events has diminished significantly. Everyday it’s a battle to get up and attend classes, let alone complete the work assigned.
It boggles my mind, because senioritis makes you ready to graduate and leave as soon as possible, all while snatching away all your drive to actually make those steps in the direction of doing so. I ask myself every day, “How do you expect to graduate if you don’t do this work?”
I don’t quite have the answers on how to combat this but, to anyone reading this and experiencing something similar, I leave you with this quote: “We will all, at some point, encounter hurdles to gaining access and entry, moving up and conquering self-doubt; but on the other side is the capacity to own opportunity and tell our own story.”
This came from Stacey Abrams. May she keep fighting the good fight?