I’m single, it’s Valentine’s Day and I’m just fine with that

Columnist Lauryn McDaniels. Photo courtesy McDaniels

Valentine’s Day is upon us once again. This is a day that most singles probably dread  — and may dread even more because we’re in the mist of a pandemic.

This year I am not too hung up on not having a Valentine. It has been almost a year since we have been in a pandemic. During this time  I have done a lot of self-reflecting and realized that I do not need to be chasing down any one.

Self-love and self-care have been my main focus.  When the lockdown initially started in March 2020, I learned so much about myself. I realized there were a lot of things that I needed to work on to be the person that I aspire to be.

My main focus right now is becoming a better me. The old saying goes, “You can’t love someone else until you love yourself.” I totally believe this and I have been taking these past few months to fall in love with myself and learn what my love language is.

It has been tough because I do enjoy the company of others and going out on dates, but I knew taking the time for myself is well needed. During this time I have reflected on why past relationships did not work.

I am so appreciative that I am not in those situations anymore because most have been toxic to me and my growth. By being in those situations I have learned to not give so much of myself to those who are not pouring into me.

I also learned to not get so emotionally attached to people. It is great to show and embrace your feelings and emotions, but sometimes these feelings can get hurt if that other person does not feel the same as you or their feelings are not as strong as yours.

Focusing on myself has saved me from wasting my time with people who did not have good intentions. I believe that every young adult should take a step back and do some self reflecting and truly consider what they want in a romantic relationship.

Even though it would be nice to get showered with chocolates, gifts and flowers — or even go on a nice fancy date — I am OK with spending my Valentine’s Day doing the things I love, like having a self care day filled with facials, a relaxing bath, watching my favorite movies and TV shows and eating my favorite food. I may even order a box of chocolate and flowers for the occasion.

I have gotten to the point in my life where I do not need validation from a man to make me whole.  Do not let anyone make you feel bad this Valentine’s Day for not having anyone to spend it with.

Take yourself out on a date, buy yourself something nice or even hang out with your friends.The day is meant for you to show love, so give that love to yourself or to the people closest to you. It doesn’t require a significant other.