We all need standards

Columnist Phylicia Wright. Photo courtesy Wright

The cuddle weather has arrived and cuffing season has begun.

Establishing standards are vital before entering any relationship with someone and should be considered before dating as well.

The back and forth games between romantic parties are over and the time has risen for meaningful conversation with legitimate prospects. Standards are essential to figuring out what someone is looking for in a significant other and what they are willing to put up with.

Start by creating a list of what you want for yourself in the near future and then contemplate if this is the right time to start letting someone in your life. Self love is extremely important and learning your love languages before entering the dating scene. The expectations you have for yourself should easily be reflected in what you expect from a significant other so that both parties are on the same page.

FAMU student Anika Flewellyn believes that standards are very important when dating and sets the tone of how one wants to be treated. She looks for someone who is equally yoked with her.

Standards are important to me because what I do allow or dont allow in a relationship, is what makes me who I am. When Im in a relationship, I want someone who holds the same values as me and has the same beliefs as I do so that we know how the relationship is going to go moving forward,” said Flewellyn.

Standards are not only based on physical appearances and should not be shallow visions. Physical features are important but it is important to remember you are not just dating a person’s body, but rather their mind, body and soul.

For junior Eliott Ford, standards when looking for a woman is transparency and someone who will support him. He relies on his love language, word of affirmation in his love life to effectively communicate with potential partners.

I need these two [transparency and support) especially because I feel as if your partner cant positively impact your life then there is no reason to be in a romantic relationship with them,” Ford said.

While standards are great to have, deal breakers are equally important and should be addressed when brought into a relationship. Deal breakers are often seen as red flags and if those warning signs are not dealt with it could lead to breakups and heartbreak.

With deal breakers they should be set in stone along with standards and should not be lifted for a pretty face or an attractive body. Sophomore Beyla Walker is all for creating deal breakers and explaining that to potential significant others.

It is important to set standards, have boundaries and speak about deal breakers in the beginning of a relationship so you and your partner have some kind of understanding,” Walker said.

Setting the standard in relationships is important to help create a good relationship, but it is also for the person so they can guard themselves from being hurt.