I initially chose to stay a virgin for fear of disappointing my mom. She was pregnant with me at 16.
I watched my closest friends get pregnant and have abortions. I heard girls and guys talk about how they “need” sex and how “it’s hard to stop after you start.” Once you hop off that porch, there is no coming back, and sexually transmitted diseases are lurking at every corner.
My generation perceives virgins as naÃ¯ve. People seem to think we are immature until we have sex. They have the “you can’t knock it until you try it” mentality. Just because I haven’t hopped off the porch doesn’t mean I can’t see what’s going on in the street.
I was never really a hard-headed kid anyway. It did not take touching a hot stove to understand that it could burn me. After I saw my friends touch it and get burned, I learned to avoid touching it. Curiosity won’t kill this cat.
When I turned 18, I established a relationship with God. I figured that as a sinner, the least I could do was save my virginity until I get married, although I try to avoid other sinful behaviors, too. If I wait until marriage, the chance of having one sexual partner is increased.
I also decided to wait as an emotional defense mechanism. When you become sexually involved with a person, you expose yourself emotionally. Nine times out of 10, the guy you said “could get it” probably wasn’t worth it.
You can protect against unwanted pregnancies and get medicine for diseases, but there are no contraceptives for emotions.
Being able to say that I am a virgin at 21 makes me feel accomplished. I can say that I did something that most people could not do.
I feel liberated, almost as though I have the upper hand in life. With my mind not being swayed by the desires of sex, I can think more clearly and make more realistic decisions in relationships.
When put in compromising positions, I have that extra strength to say: “We need to stop. This is going too far.”
I feel disciplined. The easiest thing to do is to say yes to others and to our own desires. It takes a certain level of maturity and discipline to say no.
Having sex does not make you an adult. It doesn’t make you more of a man or a woman. Paying your own bills and avoiding calling your parents for help, that is adult behavior. Understanding who I am and what I want out of life and sticking by it makes me an adult.
Understand that my staying a virgin is not due to fear. I have more to give than to lose. Plus, the best things always come to those who wait.