The reuniting of pop stars Chris Brown and Rihanna has caused a media uproar. Some are happy to see the handsome couple back together. Others are left disappointed and feel it was a dumb move on Rihanna’s behalf to consider giving her abuser a second chance.
I understand the feelings of both crowds. Domestic violence, also known as intimate partner violence, has been defined as a pattern of coercive behavior that is used by one person to gain power and control over another, according to a coalition against domestic violence.
This means that events of domestic violence do not usually happen once and simply disappear. Domestic violence is continual unless something, positive or negative, occurs.
On the other hand, I do believe that people can change. As true to any habit, violence is a choice. Therefore, it is solely up to the individuals to change violent tendencies for themselves. However, because violence is a recurring act, it is likely to permanently tarnish a relationship.
“Statistics show that it takes a victim an average of about seven times of leaving the abuser and returning before they successfully leave the relationship,” said Helene Potlock, director of the victim/witness assistance program for the State Attorney’s Office.
After enduring so much, why would anyone want to stay in that situation?
Many victims stay in abusive relationships because they are afraid of what their partner may do.
“Getting out of an abusive relationship can be dangerous,” Potlock said. “When a victim chooses to leave an abusive partner, they are more often seriously injured or killed than when they stay.”
It has been reported that domestic violence does not end instantly after separation. According to multiple reports, more than 70 percent of the women battered in domestic violence cases are injured following separation from their partners.
Others return to their partners because of what they feel is love.
There are a lot of risks that come along with dealing with an abusive partner. As adults, Brown and Rihanna have made the choice to face those risks again.
It has been four years since their tumultuous break up. So they have had more than enough time away from each other. It is my hope that they have grown and matured into people who are capable of loving one another.
Despite what anyone may think, it is up to the couple to work things out. You cannot help whom you love.