One could notice that the city is filled with lights by walking down any street. From building lights to streetlights to car lights.
As I crossed the street, a building with pink window lights that formed a large ribbon glistened in front of me. I began to smile.
If the cold wind that was beating my face did not remind me, then this city did. It is October – breast cancer awareness month.
A few years ago, my boyfriend pushed me to see a doctor about a lump in my breast. I finally did. I bounced from one doctor to another. All agreed that there was an abnormal mass in my left breast. They believed it was a tumor, but there was only one way to know – surgery.
I had never had surgery. A conversation about surgery caused millions of thoughts to race through my head.
My heart was beating faster. My feet were shaking. My throat was dry, and I was doing everything I could to fight back the tears. Surgery?
God was going to teach me a serious lesson from this, and in my heart, I knew it was not going to be an easy road.
It seems like my purpose in life is to help other people. from losing two brothers through homicide, to an abusive relationship and a roller coaster relationship with God, although the latter was my fault.
Here I was. Another storm was beginning to build, and I could see it coming.
The ride home from the doctor with my boyfriend seemed to never end. He asked me 5 million questions in 10 million ways. He was so concerned, and I could tell he too was a little scared.
All I could do was pray: Lord, please give me strength because I can’t go through this. Lord, please don’t let it be cancer. My family can’t take another tragedy. My mom and grandma would just die if I had cancer. Lord, please. Please, Lord. Amen.
Lord, I am sorry. Whatever thy will, please let it be done. Just give me the faith and strength to deal with it in Jesus’ name. Amen.
It seemed as if my prayers never ended. The day of the surgery, my mom, grandma and my aunt Linda, from St. Petersburg, were by my side.
I had not had eaten since the night before because I could not have food in my system going into surgery. And my grandmother made sure I did not even sneak a sip of water.
We rode around looking for the hospital for 45 minutes. I had taken us out of the way. I was hungry, light headed and could not figure out where I was going.
The funny thing was, I was going the right way the entire time, but a hungry mind makes one do crazy things.
We made it to the hospital, and they immediately began to prepare me for surgery. They gave me a run down on how the surgery would happen and how my insurance company would be billed.
I had to fight the nurse about putting an IV in my hand. I did not care how quickly the anesthesia needed to get in my system. I was not going for it.
I have always had a fear of needles, and that day was no exception. As they started, my family gathered around and said a prayer. The nurse even prayed with us We left it in God’s hands. There was not much else we could do.
I wheeled into the room for surgery. There were bright lights everywhere. The doctor was speaking to me, and then everything
went dark…
When I woke up, my family was staring at me. They helped me into the wheelchair and took me home.
After two weeks and several Oxycodone pills, the doctor called and told me the tumor they found was benign. But every other year, I would need to have a mammogram.
I am 21, and I just keep thinking, “God don’t make no mistakes.” For every trial or stumbling block, there is a lesson to be learned and a chance to persevere and mature.
I know what it is like to lose someone to cancer, and I truly know what it is like to be so close to having it. So to every woman, man, boy or girl, know that despite the end result, cancer never wins if you have an attitude and mind set of love and faith remember we are all more than conquerors.
Let’s celebrate breast cancer awareness month because being survivors is more than a worthy cause to be merry.
Have you had your yearly check-up? Early detection can spare your life – it spared mine.