When to pop the question


You and your new crush find yourselves “madly in like” with each other. All the typical compatibility questions have been answered. But what questions are really necessary?

Most young people get to the basics of getting to know someone. But is asking someone to get tested for HIV necessary so early? Yes, it’s 100 percent necessary. It may seem offensive to demand an HIV test from someone after a knowing him or her for just a few weeks, but there is a solution.

While demanding that person for test results, you should also suggest that you get tested as well so you both can know your status at the same time. The person will most likely feel less offended and will also benefit from knowing your status as well.

People between ages 13 and 29 represent 39 percent of new HIV infections, the largest share of any age group. With such a statistic, it’s hard to understand why young people have problems with openly requesting their partner’s status as soon as possible.

“Most people aren’t thinking about asking someone their status so early,” said Raheem Jenkins, a fourth-year health care management student from Bronx, N.Y. “I think it’s necessary to know, but it’s hard to adopt that type of thinking when most young people don’t feel like they can be directly affected by HIV.”

This trend is hard to accomplish in society today, but growing numbers of HIV positive young people are extremely progressive. More people have to take responsible precautions before getting serious with their new partner.

However, there are some who feel like asking someone to get tested before even sharing intimacy is a bit too much too soon.

“When you first get to know someone, you are trying to get a feel for that person,” said Amonte’ Martin, a fourth-year agribusiness and economics student from Tallahassee. “The only reason to ask for someone to get tested is when two people mutually feel that they are ready to have sex. Once sex is mentioned, then it is appropriate to discuss HIV testing. In the getting know stage, that question comes off as offensive.”

Of course, no one wants to be pressured into immediately getting tested when both have not reached an intimate level in their relationship. But sometimes sex comes earlier than usual, and the necessity to know someone’s status is just as important as the curiosity of wondering someone’s “talents” in bed.

Most young people don’t want to be faced with this new responsibility of asking about someone’s status, but you also shouldn’t want to be faced with the devastation of now being infected because you “took your time.”