Let’s Just Be Friends First

 Hello everyone, this week I would like to focus on friendships.

It has occurred to me that there are so many people who don’t know what true friendship is or have never experienced it.

Many think because you work with someone or go to school with them that this is equivalent to being a friend. But that’s far from the truth.

Everyone wants to know how to have a good intimate relationship, but before you can be with someone you first need to know how to be a good friend.

Friendship is the basis of all relationships.

I have had people to say to me “hey she is my friend” and “I am their girl,” then turn around and say or do something that a true friend would not do.

Real friends respect one another. You don’t have to have the same religious, political or social views to be friends. But you must respect one another. If you respect one another then everything else will fall into place, or just become insignificant.

If you respect a person you would not do anything that would bring about strife in your relationship.

The reason many people’s intimate relationships fail is because they’ve never had a true friend, so they don’t understand just how important respect is.

Respect does not always have to be earned, respect can be given. I have always loved and respected my friends. Not because they are my friends but because they are human.

Another component of true friendship is being sincere. When you are sincere with a person not only will they respect you, but they will favor you over others.

Every day I try my hardest to be sincere in my interactions with my peers. Not because I want them to like me, but because I despise people who are in my face one day, being all “buddy, buddy,” then the next day, are complete hellions. People like this don’t get very far in my book and will never have any respect from me.

As an individual it is important to be able to decipher people who can be good friends and people who should just remain associates. I struggle with this. But I am learning not everyone is cut out to be my friend. And that is fine, because true friendships last a lifetime.

True friendships don’t just sprout up in a day, they grow over time. They become strong and they endure all the trials and tribulations of life together.

Honesty should always be at the forefront of any relationship. If I can’t be honest with you and open myself up to you because you are a dishonest person, why would I call you my friend? If I can’t trust you because I know you don’t understand that personal information should remain private then you can’t be my friend.

I knew a girl who claimed to be my friend. I told her my deepest crushesand how I felt about certain topics and people. This girl would go behind my back and tell everything I said to people who didn’t even like her. From then on, I’ve learned that trust and honesty go hand in hand.

I’ve learned that people generally don’t change. So as Madea and Maya Angelou said “if someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

Sometimes in order for someone to know what a good friend is you have to show them.

So before you try and build an intimate relationship with someone, try being their friend first. This will give you a clear understanding of who they are and what they would be like in a monogamous relationship.

Remember, true friendship is the foundation for all relationships.