Fatal Club Drug Drops

When I first thought of having to spend an hour of my life listening to “Femme Fatale,” Britney Spears’ latest album, I cringed a bit.

Not because I’m a die-hard Hip-hop fan – if you tossed a copy of “L.A.S.E.R.S.,” off a cliff, I would very likely dive off the cliff after it. Truthfully, I just didn’t think I could stomach a full album of 2011 Pop music. It’s only tolerable on the radio.

But then I thought, “This is Britney Spears we’re talking about here.” Since 1999, with her first hit “Hit Me Baby One More Time,” Spears has been nothing less than consistent. Generation Y-ers can easily attach a Spears song to some memorable event in their childhood or teenage years. Seriously, what boy wasn’t glued to the television as then-17-year-old Spears pranced around in her skimpy schoolgirl uniform in her summer 1999 debut music video?

And with her March 25 release, Spears reminds us why after going from being America’s jailbait to single-handedly realizing all the stereotypes about Louisiana natives, she is still queen of the pop circuit.

“Femme Fatale” is a club drug in itself: with Spears’ voice in Auto-tune, and Techno beats with obnoxious bass for the whole trip.

The album opens with “Till’ the World Ends,” a song I wouldn’t have wanted to end if I were in a club, instead sitting at a computer writing a review about it.

“Hold it Against Me,” the second track on the album, keeps the party going. And by the time the third track rolls around,

“Inside Out,” one of the slower songs, it’ll be time to find the nearest restroom for what I like to call the “puke-check.” These periodic checkpoints are essential when after only about an hour in the club, you’ve already drank and danced yourself to into an uncomfortable intoxication.

No vomit? Awesome. Because from the fourth track, “I Wanna Go,” to “Gasoline,” the eleventh, it’s more fist-pumping, Jager-bombs and dancing with sweaty randoms, with a guest appearance by will.i.am in between.

For some reason, track 13, “Up and Down,” stood out the most. It’s likely because of the minor tone, yet electrifying effects. Now would be a good time to pursue that guy or girl you’ve been eying all night; after this track the party is pretty much over.

I found myself “fist-pumping” throughout the entire thing, going so far as to switch and slow-down fists for the slower songs.

“Femme Fatale” is a must-listen on its own merits.

Even with all of the salacious innuendos in “Femme Fatale,” Spears somehow manages to insinuate that, “Hey, moms can be hot.”