‘A Red Flag’ speaks a dark truth about abuse

A starless sky cannot be wished upon

And what cannot be wished upon leaves no hope

And a cloudless day makes tears seem selfish

Selfish because even the rain decided not to fall

A rain that makes a scorching hot day cool

Washes the pavement we walk on

Helps in the effort of making the world around us grow

Tears wash away the make up

And causes the bruises to sting

A sharp, sharp pain

 

It was his smile that made him irresistible

The smell of his cologne lured me in

The crease in his abs drove me insane

And even when he aggressively pressed his lips to mine

When he grabbed me by my shoulders before I could stumble back

I substituted the fear for excitement

And I was blind to the red flag

Because I was not that girl

I never could be that girl

My family loved him

They awed as he expressed his hopelessly devoted love for me

I smiled

And I let him speak as I held his hand

Because I had a feeling that he did not want me to speak

As his grip got tighter whenever I tried

Blind

Blind to the red flag

 

He said he hated when I went out

That I was too beautiful to be seen out in public alone

From then on, I stayed home

And I wished him well whenever he left

I cleaned because he loved the smell of the vanilla febreze

I cooked because I knew he’d be hungry when he got home

But I wasn’t that girl

I could never be..that girl

Blind

Blind to the red flag

 

When we made love

It was amazing

The way he pulled at my hair as I bit into the pillow

The way he whispered in my ear that I was his

Only his

How he dug so deep to make my back arch

And at times, I cringed in pain

But it was painfully passionate

Blind

Blind to the red flag

 

And when he hit me

I hoped, I prayed and I wished

But a starless sky cannot be wished upon

So I stopped wishing

I cried

But I felt so selfish as I looked at the cloudless sky

 

So I stopped crying

And I was confused

Confused on how I became that girl

Why I was so blind

Blind to the red flag

 

He instilled fear in me before he ever hit me

He broke me down before he ever threw me to the ground

And he made me love him before I could ever hate him