1. Lose Some Weight: This goal usually withstands the tests of January and February. But by the end of March, you will likely reschedule your workout regiment to start this summer.
2. Being a nicer person: You are a warm jovial person all year long-until about 7 a.m. on New Year’s Day, when the booze wears off.
3. Going to church: When one pledges to attend church regularly in the new year, it usually means just on holidays. For men, if a major sporting event falls on that particular holiday, the deal is off.
4. Finding love: You wake up every day assured that this is your year. That Mr. or Ms. Right is out there waiting to sweep you off of your feet. Then Valentine’s Day comes and brings you back to Earth.
5. Save money: This was a reasonable goal, until Wii prices dropped to $200. Now you are scrambling to find one.
6. Learn another language: Simply learning a salutation in another language does not count.
7. Quit smoking: Cigarettes will have to take three more tax hikes, in order for you to kick the habit.
8. Reduce stress: Try anything to ease any unavoidable stress. As long as you do not do numbers seven or nine on the list.
9. Quit drinking: See number seven, add alcohol.
10. Going back to school: It is never too late to fulfill this resolution.