My column’s absence was due to me being diagnosed with what doctor’s say 50 year olds usually get. While I considered myself very healthy—always being the overly active one at my overnight job at Wal-Mart by running and jumping—it scared me to see myself in a wheelchair for a short while.
That was three weeks ago and I’m still recovering a little, but all is well.
My support came from friends bearing ginger ale and sitting up with me to play video games, and my family who fluffed my pillows, scheduled my for my five different medications, and provided home cooked hot meals.
My main support was my at-the-time girlfriend, Jackie. How did she support me the most? And why is she not my girlfriend anymore? Well, first, she supported me by laughing at my lame jokes over the phone, laughing at the crazy things I said while dozing off from the pain medication, and driving me around Jacksonville without accepting any gas money.
Jackie isn’t my girlfriend anymore because of my immaturity to commit, the hurtful things I said on why I’m not ready for marriage after a three-year relationship, and my ignorance of the plain-in-sight signs that God has given me confirming that she is the woman I should marry. Good going, Matthew.
The issue is that Jackie and I have been in a long distant relationship. When I got accepted into Florida A&M University in 2007, we agreed to keep our commitment.
Most might say that long distance relationships are tough. They would be right.
We had argument after argument, and break-ups and make-ups, but what took the last straw was me telling her that I felt attracted to other women and had thoughts on dating them.
This is a clear indication that I am not ready for marriage, right?
Needless to say, she broke off the relationship by simply saying with tears “I don’t want this relationship anymore.” I, without tears in my eyes, said that I was sorry repeatedly for the pain I caused her.
Many friends and family said to me both, “Matt, you said the right thing. You saved her from future hurt.” Few said, “Just pray about it.”
I prayed about it everyday from the time that we broke up which was a week and a half ago. Friday, Nov. 20, I got my answer.
Saturday, Nov. 21, I bought an engagement ring.
Some call it crazy; I call it love. My confirmation, although it has been shown to me various times throughout the relationship, was her willingness and patience to make us work and on top of the little things she would do to look out for me.
As of now, she hardly wishes to speak to me and right before writing this, she gave her final spill about how I’m all talk when it comes to marriage and she doesn’t have the energy for us.
I felt hurt but all the while I was looking at a the 1/2 carat engagement ring that I bought with full confidence knowing that without a doubt in my mind, she is the one.
Planning to propose to her on her birthday, which is Nov. 24, would seem perfect. The problem is that she refuses to see or talk to me So, I pretty much could have spent more than $1,000 on a ring only to be told “No.”
I believe in my heart, she’ll say yes because I’m proving to her that no one else matters. And no other woman should matter, in dating terms. I know I’m young and have my whole life ahead of me with women I could date but why waste time on a bumpy winding road when I could fly straight to the woman that God has made for me.
The Bible has plenty of verses about love and I Corinthians Chapter 13 defines love perfectly, but the scripture that catches my eye for my particular situation is found in Proverbs 18:22.
It reads: “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.”