Bored at my aunt’s house on a scorching hot day in the summer of July 1998, my younger cousin and I were channel surfing. My aunt was gone to work so we were home alone. Nothing was on TV and it was too hot in Jacksonville to make us want to play outside.
My cousin put a mischievous grin on his face and said, “Matt, let’s look at a tape.” I responded with, “Big head, I’ve seen all the Disney movies I can take.”
He countered my response by running to his room and returning with a black VHS cassette with a white label stuck on top but with no writing. He cut the volume down on the TV and placed the tape in the VCR. My cousin’s eyes were relaxed. My virgin eyes were stretched wide with excitement, but I had a disheartening tingle.
I was 11 years old the first time I watched pornography.
Was it my last? No. But every time I did see it, I felt as though I was hurting myself inside. The home that I was raised in did not tolerate much in regards to sexual acts on TV. My mom would turn the channel in front of us if a couple on a movie kissed too passionately. She still does this now! So naturally, it felt wrong to look at anything too sexual at a young age. But pornography was on another level.
Asking a few students at Florida A&M University if porn is addictive gave an expected response. Most students think the material is obsessive.
But the alarming stat isn’t how many people think it’s a habit or not, its how many people watch pornography.
Coming from a male’s perspective, I’ve come to find that some males think watching porn is natural.
One might even compare it to going to a strip club when a male turns 18.
I’ve never been to a strip club and never will go, but it alarms me when I hear some say that going to one is a male “ritual” into adulthood.
For one to think watching porn is natural poses as a problem. One may not know if they have an addiction.
I know porn is addictive as I had an addiction. After that first tape at age 11, it was all I thought about and I wanted to see more…needed to see more.
I would get up late nights just to view it and couldn’t focus on much until I saw it.
My habit was almost that of a smoker.
What helped change me at a young age was my understanding of lust.
I believe pornography has altered my take on reality. After seeing so much porn, I looked at women more as objects. I felt as though I was walking through a pornographic scene most times I went anywhere.
Though the Bible may not say anything about looking at porn, it says a lot about lust and adultery.
Matthew 5:28 reads: “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Even though watching pornography may be a common activity among some students, some may need to monitor their behavior.
One view can turn into an obsessive habit that some may not control. Plus, desire, craving and hunger for quick sexual images are wrapped in this whole biblical context of lust.
Lust and porn go hand in hand. And according to the Bible, this is not righteous.If you need help with a pornography addiction, a non-profit organization is committed to treating people with a sexual addiction. Go to www.xxxchurch.com or www.sexualrecovery.com for general help.