Childish movie fails to impress

Well it’s almost summertime, and with summer comes big name, blockbuster movies. 

These movies always have at least one big name celebrity attached to them, and it’s hard to go 20 minutes without seeing a commercial for it.

“Observe and Report” is the first of these big name releases, featuring comedy’s newest heavy hitter Seth Rogan and veteran funny girl Anna Faris.

The basic premise of the movie is that the head of mall security, Ronnie Barnhardt (Rogan), tries to prove his worth as an enforcer of the law. 

He has a love interest, a mall cosmetologist Brandi (Faris), who just thinks of him as a creepy rent-a-cop. 

In Barnhardt’s quest to prove himself as more than just a loser, he uncovers a larger mall scandal and in the end must save the day while blundering around every corner.

You’re probably thinking, “Wait a second, didn’t this movie come out around Christmas time?”  You’re correct.

This movie is really just a thinly disguised, slightly more envelope-pushing remake of Kevin James’ role as security guard Paul Blart in “Paul Blart: Mall Cop.”

For anyone who has already seen James’ interpretation of a silly mall guard, this movie will seem like the unrated director’s cut of that.

One of the things that made “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” a passable film was a certain level of charm. 

This type of charm is typically only obtainable in a PG rated movie, because of the childlike presentation.

“Observe and Report” takes that charm, flips it the finger and shoves it out the window.

For adults, this is wonderful.  Characters are funny because of the blatant disregard they have for the mall. 

The other security guards use drugs on the job, peep into dressing rooms, and beat up annoying skateboarders. 

Other mall workers also join in on the fun, swearing and drinking on the job with no regard for the rules.

Probably the best part of this mall is the innocent coffee shop girl with a broken leg.

This is   amusing for the first half of the film, but the cheap laughs get old after a while, especially for more highbrow audiences.

Another problem is that even though the movie is meant for adults, the jokes are clearly child-oriented.

Only a    man-child or an immature girl would find the horrible, dirty end sequence (involving ten straight minutes of a large man’s unmentionables on screen) hilarious. 

The laughs are cheap, and the film seems to understand that, because it throws constant bad jokes at the audience.

At some points, you can’t help but laugh just to feed the inner child in all of us.

But those points die off fast, and then you’re left with a shallow and sub par movie with actors that think they’re too funny for their own good.

Speaking of shallow and sub par, what’s up with everyone hiring Anna Faris? 

She’s done  some annoying performances (see: Anna Faris filmography), but this character Brandi is just flat out obnoxious.     

Brandi is a stuck up, superficial, blonde, drunken party girl with no conscious. 

This is not an example of a good character.

“Observe and Report” might have been slightly above average without Faris, but with her it sinks into the summer flop category.

In the end, “Observe and Report” is a kid movie in adult clothes. 

It has the sense of humor that a preteen might enjoy, but content typically reserved for NC-17 movies.

See it if you want to feed that inner twelve year old, avoid it if you want to retain brain cells.