Everyone knows that Valentine’s Day is coming up this Saturday. It‘s the most romantic holiday in the world; you and your significant other exchange tokens of affection, to show how much you love each other.
Some people use this day to tell someone special, how they really feel and why they’ve been stalking them for the past few months. Or years.
For others, Valentine’s Day has been coined as SAD (Singles Awareness Day).
Especially for those people who have been rejected by the girl with the bad weave or the guy with the fake bling.
But it’s probably best for everyone to be single, especially this year.
Did anyone take a closer look at the calendar for this month? The day before Valentine’s Day, the most loving day of the year, is the most feared and superstitious day of any year, Friday the 13.
Sounds like something you hear in a supernatural movie or a bad horror film.
To make matters worse, Friday the 13 is occurring three times this year, two of which are back to back.
I’m sure that having three months of Friday the 13th in one year, isn’t stimulating for our economy right now.
The myth of Friday the 13th is nothing less than new. Since ancient times this day has been feared and with good reason. President Obama should declare Friday the 13th as National Let’s Not Plan Anything SoNothing Bad Will Happen Day.
There is a reason why this day has its own unpronounceable phobia, paraskevidekatriaphobia, the fear of Friday the 13th. And that’s if you don’t count the fear of the number 13, triskaidekaphobia.
So here is my advice to everyone who is planning anything and to all the companies and corporations associated with this day of romance: CANCEL VALENTINE’S DAY!!
That’s right I said it. Just cancel everything.
Your plans will be destroyed because of this one ominous day.
Your romantic dinner reservations will suddenly be cancelled, your car will break down and everything you buy will be magically misplaced, making the day very SAD
Trust me, you’d have better luck planning a quiet non-verbal night alone.
And do not worry single people of the world, your SAD ritual of playing Ne-Yo, Keisha Cole and Toni Braxton’s, sad love songs on repeat in a darkened candlelit room, will go on without a hitch.
So it’s your choice whether to heed my advice or not.
But don’t get mad when your plans are suddenly foiled like a cheesy villain’s from Star Trek.
You’ll know exactly why, just look at your calendar.
Britt Lyle is a graphic design student from Orlando, Fla. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org