New to the campus of FAMU, I would consider myself a sociable person.
However, it is impossible to make genuine female friends.
Thanks to social networking giants like Facebook, MySpace and countless others, the word “friend” doesn’t mean what it used to.
Women are facing a major obstacle in developing real female friendships.
Should we just have to settle with the friends we have had since childhood or high school, lifestyle changes and in some cases personality changes and all? No.
There are creative ways to meet new friends and one way begins with step 1. This is the pickup line. Albeit the lines for the locked class door or the line for the club there must be an initiator.
The one who says, “I love your bag” or “wasn’t the homework last night extra hard” or my personal favorite “who does your hair,” flattery gets me every time.
Someone must step up to the plate and let the other know there is interest in starting a conversation and possibly getting to know the other person better.
Step 2, is the “how come you don’t call me?” Everyone has heard, “girl, give me your number.”
I always think for what? First of all the girl part means she doesn’t remember our name, but that’s neither here nor there. Let’s face it, she will not be calling or vice versa. In this day and age just (Social network of choice goes here) me.
Just look the person up and send a message. Invite them to a gathering you are attending. What is there to lose? If they say they are coming and don’t show, that will tell you a little about their character.
If they have a legitimate excuse and say they would like you to invite them next time around, do so. If they make an appearance then you are well on your way to developing a new friendship.
Do you see the trend here? That’s right. It is just like finding a man or woman you are interested in dating.
The same rules apply. It’s just that oftentimes we invest more time in finding the two-month fling rather than the lifelong friend.
And last is Step 3, the first date. Yes, I said date. A date is when two people go out with the intent of getting to know each other better. This part is scary for both parties. It can be completely awkward if you let it, so adhere to my advice.
Invite her to something you know she was thinking about going to anyway. Perhaps a new jazz club, movie, restaurant, you name it. She will say sure. Meet there. You don’t want to force conversation with a long car ride. Enjoy the occasion asking those first date questions just like you would a guy. Where are you from? How many siblings? Why FAMU? What are your goals?
If the evening is a blast and this person seems cool, call Alltel and add them to “your circle.” Say your goodbyes and you will be sure to do it again. If it turns out she isn’t your type, please refer back to step one.
Warning: Please don’t apply rules if you are into that shallow group of girls who don’t do extra friends. Friendships, like relationships, are work and if you don’t have the time or energy to put into them don’t try this at home.
Khaneshia Smith is a public relations graduate student from Tallahassee. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.