Growing up I’ve heard many testimonies about life changing experiences, but who would’ve ever thought at 22 years old, I would have a testimony of my own. One experience changed my whole outlook on life.
In October 2007, I officially entered womanhood when I found out I was about to become a mother. At that very moment, tears trickled down my cheeks as I stared at the two bold lines on my pregnancy test.
I was overcome with so many emotions; anger, fear and confusion- but most of all worry. I kept wondering how to break the news to my family.
They’ve always believed in and supported me in everything I set out to accomplish.
But how much of their support would I receive for having a baby out of wedlock? Especially since I grew up in a firm Christian household.
It took about three days for me to realize that I had made my bed and the time had come to lie in it. I broke the news to my mother via e-mail. She forwarded the same e-mail to my younger sister and my father on his birthday. Some kind of gift, huh?
Many people questioned my decision to break the news to my mom through e-mail. The e-mail was an icebreaker, so when we spoke we would have a mother-daughter conversation without the initial shock.
But those follow up mother-daughter conversations were short and tense for about a month and a half.
I avoided my father until I went home for Thanksgiving break.
My mother kept assuring me that my father took things better than she did. But there was no way to convince me of that.
After all, I am a “Daddy’s girl.” My mother was right though.
The support and encouragement I received from the rest of my family made my mother more comfortable with the situation.
She began to realize that me being pregnant didn’t necessarily put an end to my goals, dreams and aspirations. She had a baby out of wedlock at 19 and was aware of the setbacks and struggles one can encounter; she wanted better for me.
Although things are a bit more difficult, quitting school or taking a semester off was never an option. I was determined not to let my pregnancy set me back. Instead I used it as something positive to motivate me.
I work harder not only to make a better life for myself, but my son, Javen Amari Bacon.
The help and love I receive from Javen’s father, a full time student and worker, and his parents definitely makes this journey easier.
I guess that’s why I find motherhood to be more tiring than a struggle.
It is understanding that it is not where you have been, but where you are going. Regardless of the hand life may deal you, you are not obligated to play that same hand forever.
Ebony Williams is a junior broadcast journalism student from Fort Lauderdale, Fla. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.