Everybody’s been there before. After a long day of classes and organizational meetings, all you want to do is go home and unwind. So, you make it past all the hills, humps, and stairways that make this campus beautiful, to the practically deserted parking garage.
You head up the three flights of stairs, see your car and your heart gets lighter because you know you’re that much closer to getting home. You get inside the car, breathe a sigh of relief and crank it up. All that’s left to do is drive out of the garage.
Yet, when you head down to the second level of the parking garage, you realize that getting out is going to be a little bit more difficult considering the human road block consisting of extraordinary hairdos, hard bottom shoes and one-and-a-half turns. What could this mass of perfect mockery be?
It’s a modeling troupe.
They have a boombox on the ground, blaring whatever’s hitting hard on the airways, while they line up to strut a catwalk that served as a parking lot for most of the day.
The women sashay seductively, cutting their eyes at an imaginary audience and men spin in their square-toes, popping their collars and locking their jaws in their best Tyson Beckford impersonations. They’re working so hard … they’re so in tune … and in the way.
They see you sitting there, bright lights on, tired and ready to go home. Yet, not one makes an attempt to move. No. They continue their parade of spins and twirls, possibly excited to have an audience for their unrestricted vanity, but more than likely taunting you-daring you to drive through.
It’s a problem that many students face during peak modeling season (i.e. pre-homecoming) and a problem that is highly annoying among the students who spend late nights studying or working at school.
To all models out there-you are practicing in a one way parking garage. People who park there have to retrieve their cars at the end of the day.
The idea of going the opposite way out of the garage is possible, but taxing. Aside from putting motorists in danger of a ticket, it’s too much to ask. Of course modeling troupes have to practice, but does it have to impede on other students space?
It’s a parking garage, a structure which is used for…wait for it…parking. Save the modeling for runways and flashing lights of Tokyo, London, Paris or New York. Better yet, just save it for Lee hall and let the rest of us drive home.
Kiffani Jones is a senior english education student from Quincy, Fla. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org