1. Minneapolis bridge collapse: A shocking and scary event that made everyone revisit the fear of driving over water.
2. Michael Vick’s dog fighting charges: Plain stupidity. Why is a multi-millionaire involved in dog fighting?
3. Jena Six media coverage: Racism is alive.
4. Six miners trapped in Utah: Mining is way too dangerous.
5. Barry Bonds broke home run record: Steroids or not, it is still a great accomplishment.
6. Tammie Faye died: She had a long, prosperous life.
7. Flooding in Ohio: Wade in the water, my friends.
8. Paris Hilton goes to jail: No Jacuzzi or masseuse, sounds like jail to us.
9. BET’s “Hot Ghetto Mess” title change: “We Got To Do Better” is a hot ghetto mess.
10. Merv Griffin Died: Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune made us all better people. Thanks Merv.