I recently heard one of the most profound theories about the fear of rejection and its effect on “dateable” women.
The explanation for why there are many nines and dimes that sit home alone is simple,” my friend Aja said. “Since guys are afraid of rejection and think that she has already been asked out by five other guys, they shy away from her. And due to their fears, they instead choose to approach another woman who they know would say ‘yes’.”
Later, as I was watching television, the same situation was being discussed. On a documentary about the late Dorothy Dandridge, her close friend, Harry Belafonte, was explaining why she said she would spend countless nights home alone. “During a conversation with Dorothy I asked her why she was sitting home alone,” Belafonte said. She told him no one asked her to go out because all of the men assumed that she had already been asked out. So when everyone assumed that, she ended up single.
As I started to really think about this assumption an alarm went off in my head. When it comes to fear and relationships I couldn’t help but wonder, “Has ‘no’ ever really hurt someone?” Yes, it does strike a nerve when you are pushed away from a guy that you find interesting. Or, as it so surprisingly happened to a male associate of mine, sometimes being thrown for the “okee-doke” by a female that he was willing to put down the game for.
But, isn’t it better to know what could have happened if you spoke up? Nothing is worse than having a cloud of, “shoulda, coulda, wouldas” hanging over your head.
Think about it.
Although pride is something that everyone hates to swallow, every now and again, it is still that one thing that can drive us crazy and prevent us from doing some of the things we want the most.
True, no one wants to hear “no” to something they want, but should that stop you from asking? By asking the inevitable question you might just find out there is a “yes” lurking in the wings.
A list on http://www.askmen.com says the top fear guys have when approaching women is the possiblity of hearing “no.” I wonder why fellas are so scared of this two-letter word?
The Web site explains in today’s society men have begun to take the indirect-passive approach when it comes to approaching a woman. They think if they come on in a laid-back, slightly ambiguous way, they are safe from hearing the dreaded “N-word.”
So why is it guys can lose at a game, take a test knowing they have not studied, and even lose a bet with a friend, but when it comes to women they act like the thought of rejection is equal to the devil?
Listen up guys: If you are interested in a woman, let her know.
Most females will not approach you first; that is the man’s job. Take some initiative. We women like that.
Katrelle Simmons is a junior English education student from Orlando. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.