If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it a thousand times.
And frankly, I’d rather not hear another complaint from a college man about the difficulty of finding a good woman at Florida A&M University.
The sob stories are usually followed by sweeping generalizations that label FAMU women as either stuck-up, gold diggers or promiscuous.
As I read Friday’s Famuan, the article “A good woman hard to find at HBCU’s,” profoundly disturbed me. Its assessment of FAMU women, I feel, was inaccurate. So, I decided to help the writer and some of his like-minded brothers understand why they keep finding these same “no-good” women.
Yes, the type of women you harp about are present here in large numbers, but there are just as many well-rounded women to choose from.
I meet them every day. Of course, they’re not waving banners that read, “I’m one of the good ones.” Nonetheless, it’s your job to recognize them as such.
One reason you all are having a hard time recognizing good women could be because you’re looking in the wrong places. If you consistently approach the same females – the ones in skirts that look like headbands or dresses so tight they resemble Saran Wrap – why do you expect to get different results? “Wifey” isn’t going to be found stomping across The Set in skyscraper heels.
Once you’ve dealt with that woman and realized she’s not for you, don’t turn around and approach her clone.
In the tree of life, it’s a given that sometimes you’ll pick a bad apple, but you should learn from your mistakes and choose more wisely next time.
But choosing wisely can be a problem if you have no clue of what you’re looking. Most men don’t know a good woman when they see her, and they wind up passing her without the slightest hint of recognition.
Then there are those who, even if they find a good woman, all they’ll do is open their mouths and mess it up.
Decent women are through with being hissed at, being told to “come here” and asked “What yo’ name is?”
You need something sweet to coax honey from a bee. Coming with garbage only attracts flies.
Not every brother’s approach is garbage, and for those who have decent approaches, I humbly say no one is above improvement. Try to meet different types of women and get to know them. But be realistic about what you are looking for.
No woman is perfect, so don’t go in search of an image; look for the real thing.
But alas, there will be someone who, after reading this article, will continue the course of action which has led him nowhere. As the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.
Kamaria Hopkins is a junior broadcast journalism student from Petersburg, Va. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.