Football fans, can you feel it? The Monday Night Football theme song has played in our minds for a few months now, and it’s safe to begin humming the monumental ditty out loud. But before you drape yourself in your favorite team’s gear, there are a few changes that need to be made. Even though my opinion means less than a preseason loss, I was asked to play NFL commissioner for a day. And today is that day, so here are a few things the NFL should do to improve your Sunday.
Ease up on the roughing the passer rules
Maybe it’s just me, but don’t quarterbacks wear pads too? So why can’t they take as much contact as everyone else? New NFL rules force players to make a “conscious effort” to avoid low hits to the QB. That sounds nice from the sideline, but try and tell a 300-pound linebacker to slow down for the opposing QB’s convenience. I’m all for protecting players, but one position shouldn’t be protected more than any other.
Let them celebrate
Whether it was the “Ickey Shuffle” of the late ’80s or the “Dirty Bird” in Atlanta, football players love to let you know that they just scored. So why not let them? Sportsmanship is a noble idea, but the main purpose of the NFL is to entertain. And what is more entertaining than watching Terrell Owens shake his pom-poms? Of course players could just hand the ball back to the ref, but then what would they play on SportsCenter? If Joe Horn wants to pull a cell phone from under the goal post after he scores, make sure the stadium has good reception.
Owners belong in the office, not on the field
Yes, that means you Jerry Jones. We appreciate your fervor for your Dallas Cowboys, but there is not much you can do to help on the sidelines. I would rather see your celebration in the owner’s box than you patrolling the sidelines like the head coach’s very wealthy shadow.
Bring the Super Bowl back to FOX…
and leave it there
I know the premise behind television contracts. They usually go to the station willing to pay the most money. But I cannot watch another Super Bowl on CBS. Even with the exit of James Brown from the desk, the NFL on FOX should still be the best pre-game show on TV. Terry Bradshaw, Jimmy Johnson, Howie Long and new addition Joe Buck will be more entertaining than listening to CBS anchors’ dry commentary. Even Shannon Sharpe’s personality can’t save The NFL Today Show on CBS. The bottom line is that the NFL belongs on FOX and nowhere else.
Akeem Anderson is a sophomore newspaper journalism student from Chicago. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.