Tallahassee is not a big city. So when you pick out those special outfits for homecoming week, you will be seen. With that in mind, you should always choose well.
There are a few visions I do not want to spoil my homecoming: Halter this, deep cut that or mini whatever on my plus size sisters. Cut up, holey or fishnet anything on my trim sisters. Or the super baggy, kind of dingy, regular white tees on my fellas. And especially anyone in overdone orange and green.
But I will not hold my breath.
I know some of you cannot resist the urge to stand out and be the center of attention. Sometimes the price of the attention is looking a hot mess.
Most plus size sisters do it way big for homecoming week, opting to clean out Lane Bryant’s nightlife section for the event. But a select few big girls on the manhunt think it is okay to shop at Rave. It is not. When the spandex, Lycra or polyester of your shirt is exposing your lower back because the material has eased into the crevices between your rolls, it is not cute. No matter how many drunken men at the let-out offer to take you home, it is not because your outfit is working. It’s just because he saw your heels leaning to the side and he figured you wouldn’t run. But you are not the only offenders.
Some of you have been blessed with a great figure and you can pull off just about anything. But the phrase includes “just about” for a reason. Little moth holes or big lawnmower-ate-my -outfit-rips are not flattering to anyone. When the slim ladies wear it, they look like hobos and crack addicts. Just save up some money and buy a whole shirt. You can find one at Rave for $3.99.
The brothers need work too.
I know Dem Franchise Boys have televised the revolution on white tees, but that doesn’t make them any less played out. Granted it is affordable so if it’s all you have, rock it. But the tees that are as long as baptismal robes that make the Lauderdale drop look like you are wading in the water have got to go. Anything with more than three X’s on it is just ridiculus looking. And make sure you wash it with some bleach if it’s not new. Stains make you look horrible and grimy. No girl in the club will even look at you twice if your tee isn’t clean.
Also, orange and green are two colors that need to be combined in a certain way. Full body, neon orange cat suits with green earrings and kitten heels are not cute. Orange leather shorts with green tees look atrocious. If you are trying to display your Rattler pride, do it sparingly and with a little flair. Let your orange and green make you a stand out, not be an eyesore.
As homecoming approaches, we look forward to all the fun.
However, to have fun you have got to be yourself. I’m not a fashion authority at all: I’ve just perfected the art of doing me.
When you look uncomfortable or keep tugging at your clothes you are not doing you.
If you don’t do you, who will?
Robbyn Mitchell is a sophomore newspaper journalism student from Washington, D.C. She is managing editor for The Famuan. Contact her at email@example.com.