I have a hard time letting people know how I feel. When I was younger, I adopted the silent treatment as a way of “telling” people I was mad at them or letting them know there was something I needed to say to them.
I wish that method still worked. It was so easy.
My mother and I would be shopping in the mall and I would see a pretty outfit I wanted. She would say no, and I would walk around for the rest of the day ignoring her any way I could.
Eventually, I got the clothes.
In high school, one of my girlfriends would make me angry and I would sit next to her in class and imagine there was an empty seat next to me. Soon, she would say, “Tiffany are you mad at me?”
Bingo.
As for relationships, the silent treatment is a favorite. Ladies know what I am talking about. Your man makes you upset and you think to yourself, “I am not saying anything to him until he gets it together.”
The only problem is, he may not care why you are not talking to him. Or worse, he may not know.
But the older I get, I see the silent treatment has its downfalls. I had a friend that always had a tendency to ask for favors.
Aggravated by her neediness, I just told myself I would stop talking to her, hoping she would just fade out of my life- a “poof be gone” magic trick. But she didn’t.
Instead, she kept calling, kept asking for favors and kept bothering me, until one day, I exploded on her. What I said to her, I don’t regret. How I said it could have been better.
That’s what happens when you hold stuff inside.
I had let my frustration get to a point that was unbearable when I could have easily handled the situation a long time ago.
I realized I was reverting to the immature behavior I learned in my childhood and it was time for me to grow up.
I can’t promise I will never give the silent treatment again, but I am learning that when I expect people to read my mind, I’m usually setting my sights too high.
Tiffany Pitts is a senior public relations student from Jacksonville. She is the lifestyles editor for The Famuan. Contact her at pittstiffany@hotmail.com.