When it comes to saying, “I do,” a lot of men are more comfortable saying “I’ll wait.” Contrary to popular opinion, for many men, it is not an issue of fear.
“Right now, I can’t take care of a woman the way I want to because I haven’t experienced a relationship for an adequate amount of time,” said Joshua Montgomery, 20, a junior graphic design student from Ft. Lauderdale.
Although he is not commenting on whether he has found the woman who could potentially be his wife, he admits that he needs to learn more about himself before he can take that step forward.
Ameer Jones, 23, a junior business administration student, said there is no time on his social calendar and a serious relationship would be a distraction.
The Kansas City, Mo. native said although he casually dates, he wants to be more financially stable before jumping the broom. Jones said it probably will not happen for another five years.
James Morgan, FAMU alumnus of 1977, met the woman he would eventually marry, his senior year when she was a sophomore. Morgan said they waited three years before getting married because he said he was not prepared.
“We did not have secure jobs,” Morgan said. “I wanted to be financially stable first.”
Morgan, who now lives in Jacksonville with his wife, disclosed that he had no idea that he would find the woman he was going to marry while in college.
“I think everyone goes to college looking for that potential long-term companion but at that time, marriage was the farthest thing from my mind,” he said.
Contrary to many that might see graduation as the point where the relationship road parts, it was not until the end of James Morgan’s senior year that he began considering tying the knot.
“You come to that point where you’re about to go separate ways and I wanted her to go with me,” said Morgan, who has been married for 23 years.
While financial stability and job security are essential for some men prior to marriage, others are reluctant because the women they have been involved with have not met their standards.
“She was looking for a future husband and I didn’t see that happening, so I had to cut her loose,” Jones said, adding that she did not possess the qualities of a potential wife that he desired.
For Montgomery, if a woman can be spiritually in sync with him and have a connection that is beyond physicality, then she is wife potential.
“She has to be on the same accord,” Montgomery said. “We’re going to be so tight that if someone asks her a question about me and I’m not there, she would answer it in the exact same way that I would.”