You’ve read about him, seen him in the movies and even dreamt about his physical characteristics, but still your prince charming hasn’t materialized. The search continues and the perplexing question remains unanswered. “Why are good men so hard to find?”
Right here, on FAMU’s campus, females outnumber males almost two to one, meaning the black male species is in extremely high demand. The obvious starting point for this life-long search for a soul mate is the college campus. But I’ve discovered that finding a good man in this collegiate setting is a never ending quest.
However, with so many women around campus, many guys find it difficult to commit to one. Their options are so great a relationship seems unnecessary. Commitment also equals responsibility, a key component in every relationship. Whether it’s a daily phone call or the difficult task of putting another’s needs before your own, it is apparent that many guys aren’t willing to face the challenge.
With an increase of entertainment and sports icons capitalizing on the idea of pimping, the male perspective of a women’s worth has decreased. It has become socially acceptable for females to be used for status purposes rather than companions.
A lack of positive male role models who practice chivalry is another factor that makes the quest for good men nearly impossible. When referring to the characteristics that most women want in a man, a common reply is, “one who will treat me right.” Sure, it doesn’t seem too much to ask of a man, but the unspoken truth is that many men don’t know how to treat women right because they simply haven’t been taught.
Without placing total blame on the men, I can say that women with lowered standards allow men to trample over them. This type of behavior gives credence to the saying, “What one won’t do, another will.”
Ladies, in our quest to find Mr. Right, we must forget about the romance novels, gospel plays and soap operas that have us living in a fantasy world. Don’t have unreasonably high expectations. Leave room for some degree of reality, trial and error when selecting your mate.
Shayna Tutson, 19, is a sophomore broadcast journalism student from Jacksonville. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.