Part fake attitudes, part talent and part shameless Coca-Cola commercials … welcome to the second installment of “American Idol” (AI).
As Hollywood has repeatedly shown us, nothing spoils a perfectly good show like success, and American Idol has taken off like a rocket.
According to FOX TV, approximately 55 million people watched the first three auditions. So rather than leave the original premise alone, AI has decided to drop Brian Dunkleman as one of the hosts and bring forward a “correspondent”, AI loser, Kristin Holt (the girl from Dallas who slipped and fell underneath the table).
Another bonus is the American Idol Confession Booth. As if the disbelief of not making it to the next round is not bad enough, now these no-talent hacks get to sit in a small room and tell Simon what part of their anatomy he can kiss when they make it to the next round. Personally, I do not think he cares.
This season’s AI brings forth a question: are all the auditions legitimate? The charm of last season’s AI was the ghastly auditions from people who didn’t realize they were ghastly. Because AI was brand new, there was no need for people to intentionally come in and do bad auditions. However, this season brings a lot of people who simply want their 15 seconds of fame. To quote BB King: “The thrill is gone.”
The horrible auditions were narrowed down to 32 people, with only Frenchie and Ruben as the real standouts. This season seems to be a setup of “pretty people, marginal talent” versus “big voices and bigger waistlines.” This could be interesting. Remember Jacquette, last year’s “big girl” who could really blow? She got the shaft in Hollywood.
Nevertheless, this season is a different story altogether. Just for the record, my pick for this year’s American Idol is my same pick for last year’s American Idol: Stevie Wonder.
If I hear one more rendition of “Lately” or “Ribbon in the Sky,” I’m heading down to the pawnshop to get 30 bucks for my television. I hope the man is getting royalties, or at the very least earplugs, so he doesn’t have to hear his classic hits used as tissue paper in the toilet that is “American Idol.”
Coming up this week: The first eight contestants step up to wow America, and I reach for my Vanilla Coke.
J. Danielle Daniels can be reached at rattlerbrat@hotmail.com