Every woman dreams of her wedding day, and every man dreams of the perfect little wife.
She sees a white gown, friends, family, a million flowers and the man of her dreams standing at the end of a long aisle.
He sees a bon voyage to bachelorhood, pizza and Chinese food every night and waking up next to women he doesn’t care about.
It’s a beautiful dream. And then she wakes up and rolls over to stare the stench of death in the face, as her handsome beau wakes up and leans in for that good morning kiss, that she could do without. And he wakes up and rolls over to her in her grandmother’s nightgown.
Most women today don’t see marriage like the women of yesteryear. Men don’t feel like their bachelorhood should ever end.
Marriages today are less common than divorces. And that “’til death do us part” clause is more of a punch line than a sacrament.
So what’s the point?
The word “forever” no longer means forever.
Who does that anymore? Marriage is for suckers. The most you can hope for in a long term relationship today is 7 years – at least that’s common law.
To me, it is such a waste of time to go through the drawn out process of a wedding only to later spend two years of your life in litigation to get rid of the person you committed yourself to “until death.”
Why not save money, time, and face and just leave marriage to those who still dream?
If you can’t stand the way he chews now and he is only 26 and in great shape, you will not be able to stand him at all by the time he’s 47, balding, and can’t see his shoes over his beer gut.
If you can’t stand her nagging about hanging out with your friends now and she looks like Halle Berry, you will not be able to stand her by the time she’s gained 37 pounds in her right thigh alone and starts burning everything she cooks because she is so absorbed in Oprah.
I don’t want to sound pessimistic, but when it comes to being realistic about marriage today, a pessimist is all I can be.
If he can’t be faithful before the wedding, the odds that he will be after you’ve locked him down with a ring, a house and kids is laughable.
If she can’t stand to be seen in public with you now, she probably won’t want to be alone with you in 20 years.
My point, in some cases, it is better to be committed to someone without the ring.
Don’t convince yourself of something that you aren’t capable of just because you think it’s “time” to tie the knot.
His breath will still stink and her grandmother’s robe still won’t be sexy, but at least you won’t stay because the ring is on your finger.
If you can live with that, then you can live without a ring.
Bridget Nance, 20, is a junior broadcast journalism student from Alexandria, Va. She is the Famuan’s Opinions Editor. She can be reached at bridge1231@hotmail.com..