Last week, I thought I had stepped back into elementary school. My roommate, after throwing a temper tantrum over having to rearrange our bedroom furniture, decided to tattle on me for having a male friend of mine in our room. (Don’t you just love those puritan rules courtesy of FAMU housing?)
Being the jerk that I am, I chose to report her for having her boyfriend in our apartment until approximately 2 a.m. – not because I cared, but because I could. When we were confronted about it, I admitted to having my friend upstairs. My roommate, however, did not.
Not that I expected her to.
Allow this to stand as a shining example as to why I avoid the female gender.
For the people who constantly e-mail me asking if I hate women or the psychology majors wondering if I have penis envy, let me break this down.
I despise females.
Females are needy, clingy, over-emotional cowards. Females will lie through their teeth in order to protect themselves, then wonder why they are not respected as a species. Females try to manipulate everyone and everything around them, and then they want to cry when things blow up in their faces.
Females say things like, “I’m not like other girls,” and “I only hang out with guys.” Chances are, however, that these are the most common females you’ll ever meet.
Women, on the other hand, are different.
Women admit to their shortcomings, support each other, and can give one another compliments without having to wonder about appearing to be a lesbian.
Women are more concerned with their GPA than the length of their skirt, and aren’t too big on going through metamorphosis just to impress a date.
Chalk my disdain up to my upbringing. The women in my family were scarce with hugs, but quick with advice.
I never got lessons on table etiquette, but I was taught to knock a bully on her back.
I was taught to value what was in my mind rather than what was on my back.
Forget the child experts – the women in my family were making sure that I didn’t become the type of female that they – and I – despise.
I only wish that the women in my family could teach all the non-women on FAMU’s campus how to act. Maybe then I’ll feel like I am truly in college, as opposed to FAMU DRS.
J. Danielle Daniels, 20, is a sophomore political science student from Dallas. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. She serves as Deputy Opinions Editor.